Wake up and grow

I've just had a small revelation, and haven't had the time to fully flush it out. In part, I realized that likely the biggest reason that I feel so inadequate (and therefore so unlikely) to share the gospel is because I haven't the understanding. As it is written "For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat" Heb 5:12. In order to get the understanding I must study. But studying proves to be a difficult task for me, for if I have no coming exam I am loath to study. However, I do like to share with others the knowledge that I spend time studying. (Ask my father, he knows I could talk one's ear off.) But the questions I may be likely asked are deep and profound, and require understanding to answer. Therefore, it will be no easy task to "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth" (2 Tim 2:15) -something a friend lovingly suggested I try a few years ago. For as it is quoted by Miss Elizabeth in a movie I recently re-watched "I do not play this instrument so well as I would wish to, but I have always supposed that to be my own fault because I would not take the trouble of practicing." For can we blame God for our ignorance when it is in our power to unveil His truths? He has provided us with a foundation, if we only choose to build upon it.