Life Sucks (Sometimes)

So yesterday Karen and I took a drive down to the 4-H State Horse Show in Harrisburg to watch my sister Laurie compete. This was rather fun and I enjoyed my time there. Once we got there and found my mother she realized that her camera battery, that she had just changed, wasn't working. (I'm not sure it was entirely the battery, but I can't figure out what exactly was the problem.) Anyways, so Karen and I went driving around Harrisburg to find a new battery, needless to say, the city is very strange.
As we drove around we didn't find a drug store like we were looking for so Karen decided she would stop at a gas station, get a sub and also ask for directions. The people in the store were not very helpful and were extremely slow. (During my time in Harrisburg I decided that no one had an agenda and everyone just kind of walked around without much of any purpose.) The lady that made the sub took at least 15 minutes and she wasn't even dealing with any other customers. The lady that Karen asked for directions couldn't even tell her where a drug store was, but told her the general direction of the train station where Karen was sure she had seen a CVS before. After driving around a little more we passed a CVS but could not find any parking. Karen then let me out to walk to the store while she drove around the block waiting for me to come out. The plan backfired, however, when I found the doors locked but lights on inside. It was the middle of the day, what could possibly have made them lock the doors? So when Karen came back around I jumped in. About a block down the street we saw a Rite Aid so I jumped out once again and was, this time, successful in my mission. The lady at the counter asked me if I wanted a bag for the battery, I suppose maybe she has to do this, but why would I need a bag for something the size of a quarter. It wouldn't even weigh down the bag!! After all this finagling, that took us most of an hour, we returned to find Laurie's class about to start. Mom replaced the battery, it still did the same thing as before but we worked with it a little and got it to work.
Laurie did very well, but her horse unfortunately did not. I guess she was in heat and the crowd scared her a little, plus the horse next to her would just not stand still. She made it over her jumps with a little less grace than normal and you should have heard the crowd take in there breath when the horse stopped in front of the gate and then jumped it from a standing position. Laurie also had to complete the jump without the stirrup (which I'm told if the judge notices is an automatic disqualification). She also had other problems when Whisper wouldn't go into a canter and, was rather, doing a fast trot (stupid horse, Laurie wanted to shoot her). Needless to say, she did not make the final ten.
Because Karen had her room mate's car she had to leave at 4:30 to get it back and Laurie's show wasn't quite over. My mom had said that they were driving through State College on the way home so I could hitch a ride back with them. After Karen had left I realized that they weren't planning on coming back until this morning. This was unexpected but I figured it just meant I got to spend a little more time with my mom and Laurie.
I stayed at a hotel with my mom and another lady but the bed wasn't real comfortable so it wasn't that great. My mom had wanted to leave at 8 a.m. but the time got pushed back to more like eleven. Thank goodness we got an extra hour of sleep with the time change though, it was very nice.
What sucks the most about the whole thing is that I get depressed after I see family that I haven't seen in a while and probably won't see again for another month. This is my current mood. Although I generally don't like to admit to crying, I will in this case. I always have these kind of breakdowns when I'm leaving family reunions and the like. This might be a reason I don't really like attending them. Anyways, I think writing this has taken a lot of the pain away and I'm hoping the tears are almost dried up. And this is not a pity party, I just wanted to let you know how I feel. I DON'T want you to feel sorry for me. I think most of it is because I have so much fun and then I have to return to a life that sucks. I just wish that college was closer to home and not so much work!

Recap

Well, it seems that I have been a bit quiet of late. Probably due to the fact that I have had some major homework and studying to do. Yet, also partially due to the fact that I have put off these things until the last minute and have instead been enjoying other pastimes like watching tv and doing crossword puzzles. I had intended to make daily posts, but as it has happened with every diary I have tried to keep, I don't end up following through with my commitment. But, since you haven't heard what I've been doing the last few days, I'll give you a recap. Wednesday: studied for Chem 12H test all day; didn't seem to make any difference; waste of time; still believe to have gotten less than 50%. Thursday: Stupid Chem 14 lab all morning; did get at 10/10 (only one in class) on my quiz; almost fell asleep in a few classes; did math homework while talking to Phil, Paul, and Thomas but took a half hour out for "The Office" (which my bro tells me was a repeat, but I hadn't seen). Friday: woke up at 6:30 after only 6 hours of sleep to eat breakfast and study for a quiz; didn't even have the quiz; walked down town to get birthday cards for Heather and Grandpa (forgot one for my Uncle Robert); Christie left to go home (yahoo!! j/k); plan to spend the night doing something with Kristina; not really sure what.
Well, didn't that just suck to read and sound awfully boring. I guess I just needed to vent. If you don't want to read this kind of thing than I suggest you don't read my blog. Maybe I'll come up with something profound and interesting to write tomorrow, but right now I need to leave for class. I just didn't want to leave you wondering what has been going on in my life for any longer.

Sleep

I wish I could sleep all the time. Recently I have begun a sleeping regimen in which I sleep in until at least 7:30. This is bad, really bad. I don't have classes until 9:05 most mornings and breakfast is overrated, but I should be doing work instead. I mean, I waste all day doing nothing and then I stay up until midnight doing homework which should have been done earlier. I also tend to do stupid things rather than studying for big tests, like tomorrow's Chem exam, which I have been totally ignoring. This is probably horrible, but students have been using cramming to study for tests for years (A tried and true method to make it through college).
I know one girl who runs on like three hours of sleep a night. I don't know how she does it. Sunday night she stayed up all night to study for her Biology exam (the one that Christie got a 97% on). She decided not to get the one hour of sleep that she could have gotten after she was done studying because she figured she wouldn't wake up. I guess a lot of college kids run on very little sleep, but I could never handle not getting all the sleep I want. Sleeping is like my favorite thing to do. It's the one time you are removed from this nasty world and don't have to deal with your reality for a few precious hours a day.

Bluster and Blow

Wow has the air gotten cold all of the sudden. It seems like just yesterday it was warm and sunny, but not today. Today was so cold, and yet I kept forgetting to put on a coat. I think this is because it is always unreasonably warm in our room no matter what the temperature outside. It's horrible, the heat is always on, even when it's not needed. Well, I guess I can see why the tuition is so high, if they turned down the heat it would probably cut our tuition in half (I know this is exaggerated, it's just to get the point across).
My room mate can't wait to get snow. I could care less, I've seen plenty of snow in my life. She says Christmas doesn't have snow very often. Well, I can remember very few Christmases without snow. I guess Pittsburgh doesn't receive the lake effect snow that Spartansburg does. It tried to snow today, it even sleeted a little, but nothing stayed on the ground.
I'm told that last year everyone woke up at three o'clock on the night of the first snowfall and had a snowball fight. I'm not sure if I would ever get that excited about snow. AND if anyone tries to wake me up for such an absurd thing(Christie), something VERY BAD will happen to them. There is no telling what I would be capable of doing, being aroused from a deep sleep at such an unreasonable time. Anyways, all those weird people can have their snow, just don't try to make me enjoy it because I DON'T CARE!

A Great Quote

This is a quote that was in the bulletin at church. It is by a monk named Brother Jeremiah. I think it is very good and fitting for anyone to hear and think about regardless of religiosity.

If I had my life to live over again, I would try to make more mistakes next time. I would relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have ever been on this trip. I know very few things that I would take seriously next time around. I would make more trips. I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers, watch more sunsets. I would do more walking and more looking. I'd eat more ice cream and less beans. I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones. You see, I am one of these people who lives sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I have had my moments. If I had it to do over again, I would have more of them. ...I have been one of those people who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a rain coat, aspirin and a parachute. If I had it to do over again, I would go places, I'd do things...If I had to do it over again, I would take a lot more risks.

After reading this I feel a need to accomplish something big with my life. I don't want to settle for just good enough. My life should be great and a testament to God's glory. I'm not sure if I will ever end up being famous, but that's not really what I'm going for. Rather I think I just need to trust that God will make me into the person he really wants me to become rather then keep myself boxed up in the mundane and dull life that anyone can live. I need to take some risks!

Wasted Time

Today was another football game, this time versus Illinois. Last night I stayed up until 1 a.m. so I slept in this morning, not getting up until 10. Since the game started at noon, we left at quarter to 11 to make sure we were there on time. Although I didn't think we would get there early, we got the best seats we have ever had. We were in the ninth row, a vast improvement on the 19th, 34th, 37th, and 39th rows; and we had gotten there pretty early for some of the other games.

The first half totally sucked. We played crappy and didn't make any good plays. During the second half we totally turned it around though. Mostly due to our defense, we were able to end up with a score of 26 to 12. Another reason we won was because their offense wasn't any better than ours. Had it been, we definitely would have lost. We even managed to get a safety; that was pretty cool.

The day has turned out fairly well. Although I haven't done any homework or laundry, I don't feel pressured to do anything because there is no class tomorrow. This is probably not a good position to take on the matter but I see no reason that I shouldn't have at least one day a week in which I accomplish nothing. Well, as it seems it has taken me several hours to write this blog, (I started writing at around 5 and kept getting distracted) I think it's time I wrap it up and get to bed. Homework can wait til tomorrow.

Carried Away

I am the type of person that looks for constant attention and approval. This is bad because, I tend to take getting this attention for myself to a level that really annoys all the people around me. For instance I sing songs to attract attention. While I was sitting with some people watching the homecoming parade I couldn't contain myself. I started kicking my feet, blowing on people, pretending to push people off the ledge we were sitting on, sticking out my tongue, singing "This is the song that never ends," etc. I can't seem to stop myself, I just have to be the center of attention. I hate it when I am left out of conversations too, which happens quite frequently. With all this immature behavior I'm not sure I'm even close to prepared for taking care of myself. I wish I could just fly away and never have to deal with human life. I mean, everyone's views and ideas are distorted and I don't know how to behave like a mature person around people who I don't find totally upstanding and exemplary people (these are the types of people that I look up to, admire, and respect; not acting like an idiot in their presence). I don't know for sure how to overcome this, but I think that working on removing this unnecessary behavior would be a good step forward in my maturity. I'm not saying that I will stop having fun, just maybe the stuff I do at the expense of other people and their thoughts and feelings. Normally I wouldn't really care about others, but I think this is just as much for myself as for them. I need to grow up and stop acting like a three year old child, although I'm not sure my social skills have ever surpassed this point.