Calculations

So, my brain can't help but want to calculate the probabilities around me so that I can make educated decisions about my life. If something crosses my mind to be calculated I can't stop thinking about it until I've run some type of analysis. One of my more anal characteristics is calculating grades and scores needed to attain a certain desired grade. Then, as with most aspects of my life I can't help sharing this information with the people around me no matter how much this information may be of no importance to them or in fact may even irritate them.
Tonight, a thought crossed my mind about my living expenses. I calculated just my living expenses, not taking into account my tuition bill which rings in at about $22,000 a semester. Beyond this I established that I've spent about $3500 in four months (though I will qualify that $720 was spent on a rabies vaccination). Calculating out for a wage that would be required to support this type of spending I would need to make about $8.50 an hour and work 40 hours a week. This was devastating! How can I, to whom so much has been given, consume so much of the pie myself? Where is my human charity when people in other countries are starving and would just be happy to have a small portion of what I have? How can I afford to spend money on luxuries when all humans are equal and yet we do not drink from the same cup?
What I can't control in my current situation is the rent and utility bills. The overhead for these expenses comes in at about $360/month currently. This puts the daily expenditures which cannot be avoided at about $12/day. This leaves me with $2060; $515/month; $17/day which is elective spending. The IRS sets as its national standard for one person households spending of $526/month which includes food, housekeeping supplies, apparel, personal care products and services. How can I be living so dangerously close to the governments expected spending allowance? A government that is in debt way beyond its means to recover is accurately predicting the amount of money that I use to live on. This is too much. I need to find a way to cut my spending dramatically.
Still there is only so much I can control. I have not gone out to eat once in my time in Manhattan, excluding my first meal with my mother and aunt when we pulled into town and the dinner that my pastor treated Sarah and I to a couple of weeks ago. Additionally, as a vet student I require certain books to learn and these are far from inexpensive. In fact, my total book expenditures for the fall semester totaled $500. Along with the rabies vaccine these necessary purchases took up a third of my total expenditures and 60% of my elective spending. Considering the other $840 I spent in the last four months I calculate that I spent $7/day on food, gas and other life necessities. Looking at this number in the country in which I live and considering that the IRS expects that one person households will spend close to $9/day on food alone I do not feel completely dismayed with this number, but I would still like to reduce it if possible.
My largest spending problem is that stemming from my schooling, which is very difficult to control. I could consider removing myself from this program in order that I could reduce my spending, but this would in the long run likely have a more negative effect, as I could potentially make a much greater difference in the world with this education. It all comes down to my willingness to sacrifice some of my need for frugality here for the hope that I will be better able to have a wider spread impact later. However, I hope this lavish living will not lead me to dismiss my conservative nature and that I would be ready to pick up my desired values when at all possible. The thing to remember is that this money will all have to be paid back with interest someday. SPEND WISELY!

Belief

Belief in something is common to the human condition. One can not know for certain all the answers. No matter how deep we try to dig man will never be able to uncover all of life's secretes, let alone those of the universe. When considering the existence of man one asks himself, where did life originate. Some claim that millions of years ago life evolved on a planet filled with water and land. While this in and of itself is hardly fathomable given the statistical probability of such events occurring in random succession as to produce this organism, there is yet more problem to this notion.
Going back to the existence of the earth. Say there happens to be a planet that arose from a "BIG BANG," where did the stuff to create this matter come from? Matter: the substance or substances of which any physical object consists or is composed; something that occupies space-dictionary.com. And the space itself, how does that exist? There exist molecules and atoms and electrons and preons and quarks and quantum foam. All these things scream of design. From where would they come from if not created? To say that something came from nothing is impossible, lest we throw away the very foundations of our scientific knowledge including the First Law of Thermodynamics- Energy cannot be created or destroyed. Thus for the earth to exist without a creator is non-sequitur.
Furthermore, taking the theory that the earth has always been in existence we should now expect that it would be dead considering the Second Law of Thermodynamics-the law of entropy. And before laying claim to the argument that the earth is only part way through her journey to the grave, consider that macroevolution, as claimed by Darwinists to occur, itself does not follow with this law as material would become more complex rather than simpler. And though it is possible for random atomic collisions to occasionally lead to the formation of a molecule, this molecule will never stick around long enough for thousands of other molecules to form around it and organize into a cell. Considering the leap of FAITH required for one to Believe that a cell was formed under these conditions, it takes considerably more faith to believe that somehow this cell was able to reproduce before its death and somehow lead to multi-celled organisms and so on.
It is truly laughable for anyone to consider that he can know truth about these events, and no amount of scientific inquiry is ever going to change this fact. It is simply not possible to make wild statements that preclude that any other position is impossible with any degree of credibility. There would be no debate if such knowledge was possible. Therefore, I urge you that if you find solace in the belief that evolution lead to the existence of human beings you are not believing in a truth but in a theology, of which God is removed from a place of worship and replaced with lowly man. In this one can not call himself an atheist, for though he precludes the religions in which he is subservient to another, he finds himself in a religion of which he is the god, believing that random events lead to his existence, touting him importance. With this I ask you to consider the first temptation and the first sin. The serpent asked Eve to eat of the fruit of the tree of good and evil with the lure that she would become like God. Does it not strike you as odd that this same temptation, to make oneself on the same level as God, and thus diminish His significance, is the basic ploy of the theory of evolution?

THINK!

Amazing Thanksgiving!

Sarah made stuffing.
I made pies.


I made Christmas decorations.

Sarah made pancakes.

What a holiday!

Bologna

Bolog-na is a sandwich meat.

It's made of beef, veal, and pork.

And you're full of it!


Plus, hearing the word makes me want to sing the Oscar-Meyer song.


Also, Bologna is the capital of Emilia-Romagna.

Fellow Citizens of the World

We, as people have a responsibility, not to ourselves but to each other. Let us think not of what will benefit us, but what will benefit our neighbor. Of course in that is a need to take care of our own needs so that others are not burdened with the necessity of carrying our dead weight as well. But first and foremost we need to strive to bring others happiness. In so doing, let us not complain about our less than fortunate circumstances, or spill the gossip that so easily flows off the tongue. Let us learn to keep our lips shut even when we are tempted to share the gory details of our latest misfortune. And let us not prejudge others, making them in our minds to be evil creatures, when in fact, if seen from some higher perspective, we may find that we are the ones who deserve judgment. Realizing it was our presumptions which brought upon our current misery.

To sum up: SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS, WE DON'T CARE!

Wondering

If I were one to wonder, I wonder what I'd want
I think I'd want something, but I don't know what I'd want
What would I want I wonder, I don't know what it'd be
I don't know the answer, maybe it's up the tree.

Blind me

Blue birds outside my window, whistle a lovely tune,
I can't know all its meaning, but I know it beats my 'loon.'
When I can't stand to study, I need a fun release
I can count on all life's treasures, to give my mind some peace.
Life is unjustly cruel, if you look at its daily toils
But consider the rays of sunshine and you'll forget all that spoils.
Each day has its beauty, if one will calm the mind,
clear the recess of the brain and close one's eyes, so blind,
slow the onward marching beat of footsteps on the snow,
and make the knowledge of the heart, the seeds that you will sow.

Wait

Waiting, waiting, waiting.....
What are you waiting for?




Do you think I should tell you something?




What would, should, could I say?




What makes life amazing, or what makes it sad?




Sometimes life is just dull. Get used to it. Or change your own situation.

Silly Girl

When I have so much potential, why is it not used?
When I could be substantial, why sit in my room?
When the world is in danger, who can save her?
When the world needs a Savior, who carries the news?
When the universe was created, who witnessed its birth?
When the universe expands, who holds its keys?
When life impinges, what keeps you sane?
When life is glorious, with whom do you share?
The world is at odds with our human ways
The Creator is perfect, beyond our understanding
Let us undertake an effort, to change our lives
Let no man hinder your progress.

K-state

So, I don't know why anyone would check this blog, as it is updated so infrequently, but I thought I had better not leave anyone hanging as to how the vet school stuff worked out. So, I drove out to Kansas with a car my parents purchased for me (which is at this moment sitting in a mechanic's driveway waiting to have a leak in the steering fluid line repaired). My mother and aunt Joy also came out with me in my parent's truck so that they could haul my freezer (packed with meat), and my bed and dresser out. Between Cleveland and Columbus the truck got a flat while we were driving through rain so heavy that I could hardly see tail lights. So we soaked ourselves changing the tire only to find that the 4-ways had run the battery down so we had to call a service man out for a jump. We stayed with my cousin Matt and his wife Jesse on the way down and were able to get to Manhattan with no further trouble.
I have now been here since August 15th. I haven't talked to my roommates much, but I think it's better that way for studying purposes (one's a third year and the other's a nursing student). I've made a friend or two at school. Sarah Heath is a real blessing. I think that God has been very gracious to me with the provision of good Christian friends. I also have a great lab group. It helps that we're all fairly smart so that we can bounce information off one another to get a better understanding of the material. So far I can't complain about my grades and it's hard to commiserate with those that are struggling because I find that I have plenty of time to waste without a real hindrance to my scores, though I'm sure this will change by next year if not by next semester, or even possibly the end of the semester. I also have a challenge trying to remain humble, but I keep trying to remind myself that I would be nowhere without God's help, and I know that I am doing so well because God has a purpose for me and obviously vet school is a part in his plans. So, that's my update; hope you're satisfied.

follow up to vet schools

I actually have been accepted to KSU at this point. I'm on hold with Penn (probably due to a decreased number of in-state spots). WI should be sending out notifications by the end of Feb. Woot!

More

• I don't get novocaine to have my cavities filled (one time chewing on your tongue is plenty)
• I broke my left ankle trying to stop a 1000 lb round bale from tipping over
• I can lick my nose
• I took piano lessons K-7, but still can't sight read to play a song (with both hands at least)
• I once ran barefoot through the snow followed in close pursuit by my knife wielding brother due to an unfortunate incident in which I threw his koosh ball into a snow bank
• The first time I fell off a horse was due to my mother allowing my (now an expert {even bareback} rider) sister to have control of the horse we were riding together (she wanted to go fast... I wasn't expecting the take off), Come to think of it, every time I have fallen off a horse is my sister's fault. She has her horse trained to keep running and never stop, and she has also pulled me off, what a Brat!
• I like to whistle (I can do both inward and outward, so as to almost be continuous), and I do so all over campus (Thanks for the lessons Bobby Rose, and thanks for teaching be to blow a bubble with gum too)
• My first facebook profile was Roy Gbiv (still active if you'd like to befriend him/her), this was due to my skepticism of whether it was truly safe to put any info on the internet (as you'll notice, I have my profile as guarded as they will allow, but I still wonder)

Facts

So, when I interviewed at Penn, one of the current students asked what was unusual about me. I had a hard time thinking on the spot and came up with very little. We eventually said that living on a farm was cool, but since we were all interviewing as perspective large animal students I didn't think this was too noteworthy. Regardless, I have since thought of interesting things, and in fact facebooked the guy who asked with one. Now I would like to share some of them with you.

• I have never owned a cell phone (I use google voice for long-distance calls on my room phone-cause I'm VERY cheap)
• I have never kissed a boy (well, my dad and brother don't count), and yes I was once asked!
• In total honesty, I have never dated a boy (and if that doesn't give you some doubts about the boy who asked to kiss me, let me tell you I'm forever glad I didn't)
• I own a freezer (there might be a blog post about this somewhere in the past), but it sits at home with my parents' food in it because Penn State won't let me use it
• I've gone for months without shaving my armpits or legs, and it didn't bother me (maybe that has something to do with the no boyfriend status)
• I live on a campus known for its parties, but I've never been to one (or even had a sip of alcohol within 100 miles of campus)
• I have no idea what I'll be doing this summer, or next fall, or next year for that matter, but I have TOTAL confidence that GOD does, and I am willing to wait for His guidance
• I have never tried any illegal drugs, though I've been offered (actually, the first time I was ever offered was this summer, this may or may not be surprising since I might appear to be a goody-2-shoes)
• I own a pygmy goat named Thomas who is as fat as possible and has absolutely no value (I've been told that you can starve goats on just water and they slim down just fine with no problem, but I'm not home often enough, or maybe I don't care enough, to give this a try)
• I'm a TV addict and have tried to quit several times (in the latest attempt God has taken some control by destroying my television's power supply unit so I would have to get all my shows online) I'm holding out except for the Olympics at the moment
• I'm a PSU ice cream addict as well (one half gallon has never lasted more than 24 hours in my dorm room)
• More to come (I should get back to doing real work for now)

Interesting Thoughts (Maybe this is what I should have told them when asked why I wanted to be a vet)

So, originally my mother was living in MN with her family and my father was living in PA with his. Then came along my uncle Pat. He was from PA and did a residency at the University of MN where my aunt Janelle was working. They got married, moved around, and settled in PA. Then, when they started popping out kids, my mother moved down to help them out. I think she even worked for my uncle for a while. So, now both my mom and dad are in PA, and they are even living within 12 miles of each other. Doc and Janelle actually live 5 minutes from our farm, but my mom was living in Titusville I think. Anyway, somehow my mother started working at Buells Corners Store, and happened to be there when my grandpa came in and mentioned that he needed a dog with milk to nurse his fox pups. (I guess he raised them and sold them, it was legal back then I think, not that he would have cared) Anyway, my mother just happened to have a bitch that had just lost her pups, so she started bringing her over a couple times a day to feed the pups. That of course lead to my parents meeting, dating, and marrying, only to eventually have me 8 years later. So, the moral of the story is...I would not be here if it were not for veterinary medicine and a bitch. CRAZY!

Vet schools

So, I've now heard from U Penn that I have an interview, and my KSU interview is already over. Now I have only UW to hear from. They all have aspects that are attractive, so it may be hard to make a decision. Of course, maybe I will only get in one place, that would make it easier.