Life Update

Looks like I missed all of 2014 and most of 2015 as far as expressing myself via blogpost; but alas, I feel it is time to set fingers to keyboard again. :) So world, what is it that I should share with thee? Most of my 2013 posts were pretty heavy, but I'm not there right now. I'm feeling a little lighter at this exact second, though most of those feelings are still near the surface and could emerge at any second. So where should we head? I think an update on my general whereabouts and on-doings may be a good start. So I finally graduated vet school last May and moved to Plains, MT to practice veterinary medicine. It's a nice little town with various personalities. I've met a lot of good people and I've also met some crazies, but every town has those, right? I've been lonely here. I'm not good at meeting new people outside of work. I started attending the Lutheran church with Janelle, but the people there are all older, and I wasn't making strong relationships. So I branched out of my comfort zone and started attending the Plains Alliance church on Saturday evenings as well. Still I wasn't making real relationships, but I felt pretty welcomed. Then earlier this year the church service became a bible study, which I continued to attend, but it's much more uncomfortable. Due to the small group size more attention is on the individual for response. I don't like response, it's out of my comfort zone. It's like I'm pressured to give a good answer or I'm not good enough. I still attend though. And last November I met a girl named Sarah who works at Camp Bighorn. She's super sweet and, as we've gotten to know each other, I've found it very easy to talk to her. She invited me to start attending a small group that the Alliance Church supports and I've gotten to know a few more people my age through the group. However, Sarah has recently gotten engaged and will be leaving for Missoula soon, so major bummer as far as a local friend is concerned. I still have the rest of the group, but I don't feel very close with them. Really I'd just like to find one other person that I could comfortably share life with, whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship. I don't really know if I'm ready for a relationship, so I'm not pushing on that door too hard; but I'd like to have someone to confide in, who I feel to be trustworthy, and unfortunately I don't have someone like that right now. I have friends, some of whom I would even trust with my baggage, but they aren't close by and some things need to be shared with someone who can hug you. Right now I'm just sad. Sad that I'm not walking with God, sad that I'm so alone, and sad that nothing is likely to change for the better anytime soon. Ah well, I guess I've gone and gotten heavy again. I did say it could emerge at any second....